Rules to follow if you're truly a fanboy of [INSERT CONSOLE NAME] (That is, ANY console).

1) When someone posts something positive about the major competitor to your favorite console you must flame them with all the vocabulary of a seventh grader who spends more time in the principal's office than in any classroom.

2) In your flame comments you must liberally sprinkle the terms "This is crap," "You're just jealous that our console is so much better," "F#*K YOU," "you're G@Y!!' and "you can't handle the truth."

3) You must disregard all rational thought and TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO BE SURE THAT YOUR POINT IS SEEN. This is very important.

4) If given undeniable truth that some facet of the other console is better you will wholehearedly deny it and truly believe what you say.

5) If your favorite console is falling behind in sales you will tell everyone you know that does not have it how great the system is and that they should throw the other 'piece of crap' away and get a manly console. Even if the console is actually a piece of crap itself.

6) If negative reports come out about your favorite console you will systematically hunt down every reference to them on the internet and then proclaim that this is all a conspiracy by the other console makers to increase their sales and you will randomly make up names of people you 'heard' facts that it is a conspiracy from.

7) If you own multiple consoles you will hide this fact from everyone you know and say things like "oh, that's my sister's console. I just let her keep it here because she doesn't have a television." You will have a separate username on all the major boards so that you can argue with yourself about which console is the best.

8) When your friend finally caves in and buys your favorite system you will tell him 'I told you it was awesome' no less than 1,362 times within the first week, even if he hates the system and the games and refuses to play it.

9) When your friend finally decides to put his console up for sale you will no longer be his friend and tell your other friends that he is a 'sellout' and 'traitor' and 'too stupid to fully understand the greatness of this system.'

10) When something is posted that is positive about your favorite system you will copy and paste the text to every website you can think of within two hours of the original post. You will not cite the source but merely state that 'this was handed to me directly, by god,' even if the information is wildly inaccurate and especially if it cannot be confirmed or denied in any way.

These rules can also be applied to a video game, a genre of video games and your favorite brand of peanut butter.

(Images randomly chosen solely to represent the systems & manufacturers and not specific points for specific fans of specific systems)

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